<p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二零二五年八月上社課</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：用平水韻十五刪作七言絕句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收集簡評 ：牟明鵬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刊頭題字 ：蔣孝余</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇編輯 ：趙以順</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙學(xué)鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px;">返鄉(xiāng)建短視頻直播創(chuàng)作基地于習(xí)水柑甜村見落日</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四十年間夢未刪，仍將赤熱灑鄉(xiāng)關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歸來笑談少年夢，空載韶光去復(fù)還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px;">夏末入習(xí)水廟坪村小飲</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輕隨一徑出云間，絕頂來觀山外山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">載得金壺誰與共，漫天霞色對酡顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px;">與習(xí)水同學(xué)飲小醉后于街頭房車獨(dú)臥</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">記憶經(jīng)年未落閂，清宵一夢枕人寰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浮光掠影少年事，淌過街燈那道灣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">評：鄉(xiāng)關(guān)落日滿襟懷，舊事隨風(fēng)掠影來。一世人生求自在，言辭樸素出心齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">秋日感懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吾兒道我鬢邊斑，叵耐滄桑老面顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">笑對人間悲與苦，浮生何處不余閑？</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">春暮游沙灘</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夕照櫻花碧水潺，沙灘盡在水云間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">琴洲晚渡驚飛鳥，此去東鄉(xiāng)子午山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：拙作。斗轉(zhuǎn)星移，容顏老去，能常以閑心相與風(fēng)物，豈不快哉？</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【祝西峰】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">立 秋</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暑氣炎炎不等閑，窗中遠(yuǎn)岫老容顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秋聲才報梧先覺，抱住枝頭戀世間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">飲 酒</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">自泡楊梅酒色殷，一餐二兩有無間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流光忽忽浮杯去，又覺身閑意未閑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">評：暑漸消，秋已至，春秋代序隨他去，何必在意？心閑堪比仙。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明英】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">云</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬里飄游意自閑，影沉碧水不思還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">此身縱是無居處，風(fēng)雨門前我把關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">逐風(fēng)逐雁不思還，晨約朝陽暮約山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬里晴空誰作主，雷公每每看吾顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：立意雄渾見豪情，還知境美虛實(shí)生。兩首結(jié)句皆語略顯實(shí)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【劉先倫】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳立秋日鳳凰山下夜飲</b></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">惟言烈日幽風(fēng)遠(yuǎn)，誓要扶搖去又還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">何況江流同我語，月探高木有斑斕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">湘水金粼入夢間，又同靈賴飲不還?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">奶茶自有仙人送，皓月輕風(fēng)一白鷴。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夜月朦朧風(fēng)過木，蟬聲拍響滿幽山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧華斑駁浮湘水，百步寒心仄道艱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">人言此處水云間，醒骨真人閉死關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">兩岸蟬聲不用聽，青松似我得輕閑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：何為我？何為物？物我兩忘，情景交融生妙境也。然第三首結(jié)句似與全詩意境失和。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周國慶】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">江 油</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">幼女傷魂誰逞蠻？小民命薄似蓁菅。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱搜一度如煙過，原是有司將貼刪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">方 丈</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">拜佛須將上此山，禪師寶相佇其間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">中藏春色無人識，吹盡笙簫夜未還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">暮 歸</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">靜水微瀾暮色斑，驅(qū)車又過數(shù)重山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鳴蟬歇處清涼月，脈脈無聲照我還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">聽桑德先生Unit731挽歌</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">聲聲如泣黯朱顏，仿佛重回?zé)挭z間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一曲長歌意未了，應(yīng)教此恨記人寰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：詩心即人心，觀諸詩，君心悲憫，隨處可見菩提。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【鐘華】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">立秋應(yīng)邀回泮水參加書法活動作</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">新秋微雨暑初刪，故路蟬聲送我還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">拙筆難追蘭亭韻，一窗竹色落詩間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">觀畢節(jié)遵義兩地女子書展有感</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">列岫黔山秀錦顏，簪花鐵筆玉書間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瑤箋兩地同呈彩，墨雨飛來潤宇寰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：以詩語揚(yáng)墨韻，詩書并美矣！然第一首結(jié)句中“落”字已落矣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【謝 勇】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳立秋有懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">市肆凋疏次第關(guān)，稻粱未足奈時艱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秋風(fēng)此夜經(jīng)行處，天地?zé)o情促鬢斑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳年潤六月十六日同學(xué)小聚</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">相聚城郊為哪般，平生情誼等高山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">人從疏闊心真見，況是垂髫至鬢斑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：子美精神妙語中，詩心自不與相同。平生苦樂何常嘆？白鬢黃髫皆是童。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙以順】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">牽 懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">東風(fēng)笑我未能刪，南燕同君久不還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">細(xì)柳幾枝來眼底，相思一縷蹙眉彎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">反 側(cè)</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)搖竹影一窗斑，月浸荷香水自閑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">牽夢牽魂牽遠(yuǎn)念，隔云隔霧隔關(guān)山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">秋 杪</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">霜凋木葉落階斑，露浥蘆花頹昔顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欲托雙魚千里隔，空凝孤月一窗間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">思 遠(yuǎn)</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">霜封玄草改容顏，雪鎖歸鴻隔遠(yuǎn)山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">心逐征車千里去，淚隨寒漏幾更潸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">評：幽思巧寄于物，疏懷妙施于言，繼而造佳境，生佳意，若兮之謂矣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【汪守先】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳立秋二首</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠染園田香處處，紅鋪曠野稷山山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">哦中閑看清秋立，詩外浮云下柳灣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">俗慮騷愁一例刪，詩情浩蕩過云關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群峰雨后炎威杳，涼色悠悠共我閑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">評：語雅而意樸，言工而境闊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">【梁正森】</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">今日應(yīng)制一個</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">封存記憶未全刪，落日秋風(fēng)痛馬關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曉月盧溝須警惕，獅頭猶有彈痕斑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：雖為應(yīng)制，卻也虔誠。居安思危，一片丹心，堪稱佳作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【文受剛】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">別京之日二絕</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">信步長城勝爬山，歸來酒店入標(biāo)間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">匆忙午睡中餐后，難得行程片刻閑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輾轉(zhuǎn)京都景物間，虔誠拜別漢時關(guān)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飛機(jī)直上云端去，千里家山半日還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">評：平實(shí)自然的用語中意趣橫生，若樂天在世也。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【唐嘉誠】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">火燒舟風(fēng)物六詠</b></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">甜酸羊肉</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">年來羈旅思甜酸，猶想流連肺腑間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">長幼圍爐談鮮美，可親依舊是家山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：甜酸羊肉，有前人言是黎庶昌將歐日吃羊肉做法，與本地口味相結(jié)合而孕育所出，為吾鄉(xiāng)筵席中間碗。）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">禹門鹵鴨</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">生長黔山播土間，淺嘗數(shù)夾露歡顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">莼齋攜至扶桑國，鵲起聲名響宇寰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：黎庶昌，字莼齋，坊間流傳其曾將禹門鹵鴨帶至日本，分發(fā)同好品嘗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">蕭家壩麥麩醋</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">攝篆曲陽非等閑，取來良計旋家還。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">麩皮竟可出淳酢，澤被鄉(xiāng)鄰百載間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：蕭家壩人蕭樹藩，進(jìn)士，知山西曲陽縣時，命鄉(xiāng)人蕭海廷前往學(xué)習(xí)制醋工藝，功成返鄉(xiāng)，至今鄉(xiāng)中仍多制醋為生者。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">郭家杠子面</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹升早著嶺南山，輾轉(zhuǎn)黔陽到此間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">游子垂涎胡可忘，個中真味豈一般。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：郭家杠子面，今已歷五代人，純手工制作，與廣東竹升面異曲同工，粗細(xì)不同。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">甜酒米花茶</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧婦尤能運(yùn)竹環(huán)，稻糧謀取市場間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醪糟糅合得佳味，一任油香度苦艱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：鄉(xiāng)中老人善作米花，以糯米入竹圈成圓餅，晾干后用白油炸，熱甜酒沖泡，為吾鄉(xiāng)舊時之充饑物，婦女尤喜食。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">豆?jié){稀飯</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">漉菽殘羹雜此間，言談斯處具憂顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雖然別有風(fēng)味勝，忍看壇中血淚潸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：吾鄉(xiāng)凡有人辭世，均以豆?jié){煮剩飯，晚間宵夜，不設(shè)葷腥，佐以咸菜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">評：詠家鄉(xiāng)風(fēng)物，物嘉而意誠，然“豆?jié){稀飯”首不宜作風(fēng)物詠。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p>